And so does Martin Lawrence
Martial Etiquette is one of those things that are somewhat universal and also as varied as the people that do martial arts. There are some universal things but school to school and person to person they can change fundamentally. A lot of these traditions are derived from the cultures where the martial arts began. Karate, Aikido, Judo, and Kendo all have similar rules of conduct based on Japanese culture. Shaolin, Hung Gar, Wing Chun, and Taijiquan all relate back to Chinese culture. Not only are we talking about familial culture but also religious, political, and social. That's quite a melting pot.
So why, as westerners, do we continue to adhere to these ideals and practices from cultures thousands of miles away and thousands of years old? Why don't we call our teachers "Tom" and greet them with a firm handshake? Why don't we show up in our jeans and converse for training and tell fart jokes in the middle of class?
The obvious answer would be simply "respect", right? That we should respect our teacher(s) and not be total obnoxious douches during class seems the most reasonable explanation for all of the bowing and comedic restraint. But what if I told you that showing respect was just a bi-product of the real lesson? What if I said that the person benefiting from you bowing to your teacher, listening with attention, and referring to your teacher as sir/ma'am/shifu/sifu, was you? It was you the whole time!
Mind = Blown
Humility. Humility is the reason why we have to do all of it. Most teachers, if they practice what they teach, aren't a bunch of egotistical A-holes looking for masses of mewling students to kowtow before them. They are not looking to stroke their own egos and self aggrandize their place in the world. They want their students to be humble first because only through humility and thoughtfulness can you hope to control yourself. And what better lesson is there in Martial Arts than self-control?
Without self control, our lives would be chaos. We would give in to every whim and act on every emotion immediately without forethought. Now imagine that someone with an inability to control themselves are suddenly shown how to violently harm someone with their bare hands, given the ability to brutalize or kill within seconds. Man that sure sounds like a great combination. All of those rules and etiquette are teaching us to be thoughtful and mindful of how we act both in and out of the school. Sort of like how prisoners can't pee without someone with a gun and baton watching them once they get out.... so I've heard. It's through constant practice that it becomes habit. Once it is habit, then we can be trusted to go out into the world with our new skills.
When it becomes clear that a student can not remove himself from his ego or learn to control his or her emotional state, that student may be asked to leave. The typical western mindset (or that of the ego controlled) would simply say that they were being punished for not being subservient. Meaning they missed the true nature of the lesson entirely. How we treat others is an indicator of our ability to control ourselves. How we see ourselves will dictate how we treat others. It's not great cosmic secret or even an ancient Chinese secret. It's just another way in which martial arts makes us stronger even when we aren't aware of it.
One of my students recently asked (in a public forum) how do you control your ego without being too self deprecating. Ch'an tells us that both ideas are really the same. Ego comes from confidence and self deprecation comes from doubt. Both are falsehoods that we project on ourselves and both can harm us equally. Humility is not a byproduct of self doubt. It is a state of being that requires us to remain simple in both thought and deed. If we are neither proud of our accomplishments or regretful of our failures, what is left is simple humility. It is human nature to be proud and regretful and we will all feel that way from time to time, but if we can recognize what those feelings do to us, if we can see how pride fills our cups and how regret will never allow our cups to fill at all, we can understand the dangers of allowing them to control us.
Coming back to our original discussion on etiquette, it is the ego that tells us we don't need to follow the rules and patterns of behavior set forth by our teachers. If we can put ego aside and "empty our cups" we might find that the lessons we thought we were learning, were only part of the real, larger lesson all along.
As always, feel free to comment or rage.



